When I was a kid, we had a spare bedroom that, over time, became the “junk” room.

If any area of the public-facing part of the house was messy and we were expecting visitors, my mom would just grab all the offending items and stick them in that junky spare bedroom.

If we ended up with what we did not want – junk room.

Yesterday I was in a session with a client and she said, “everything in my life is working but my weight.”

It was at the end of the call and kind of flew past me, but it stuck in my head, and here I am still thinking about it 24 hours later.

Why?

Because she believes that it's true, but upon further reflection, I've realize that it absolutely is not true.

I'm not going to go all into her personal business here, but trust me when I say she has some STUFF that she hasn't cleaned up yet.

And that STUFF is making her feel bad.

And then she's eating to make herself feel better, and to distract herself from the discomfort of looking at those areas, and then telling herself her weight is the only issue in her life.

It's like my mom saying the house is clean. It was, except for that one room. 🙂

The chaos of that one area is a catch all for the hidden chaos of the other areas.

For some people, a few easy tweaks are all they need to lose weight.

For this client? She's going to need to be honest about the areas of life that are not working the way she wants and choose to sit in the discomfort of looking at that, instead of eating to cover it up.

It's a hard sell, because it feels awful.

But sitting in the truth is what gives us clarity about what we do not want in those other areas, and the clarity gained from looking at what we do not want reveals what we do want.

So by refusing to put another item in the junk room, we have to be honest that we are just not decorative-wreath people, even though we love the person who gave it to us.

And by refusing to put another junk food item into our mouths, we have to be honest that we are not happy with our job, or a key relationship, or whatever is causing us the pain we've been distracting from with emotional eating or stress eating.

And while that kind of honesty may force us to either shift our thinking or our circumstances, addressing the real problem is the only true solution.

When we start addressing real problems and getting true solutions, over time our lives start to work better, and we start to feel better, and that bowl of ice cream loses some of its appeal.

Weight loss from the inside out.

If you do it differently, it just might change your life.

If this is the kind of work you want to do, I'm here to help. ​https://LisaDuke.net/schedule​ to start.

I have a client who recently went on vacation and ate a few things that were off her normal plan.  She didn't gain weight, but was really being hard on herself for not behaving “perfectly”.  

 Here's an excerpt from my email to her, which I'm sharing publicly in the hopes it will be helpful to you as well.

I hear so many stories of people either deciding ahead of time to go crazy or accidentally going crazy on vacation that you did really well by comparison.

Some people think throwing out healthy eating = vacation, and I don't agree with that. We want to do our best to eat healthy wherever we go. And that's easier some places than others.

And ALSO – for me personally, if there truly is a special food on vacation that's not available at home, I want to have the experience of trying it.

Imagining going to Paris and only eating iceberg lettuce. The food is part of the culture of the place, which for me is what I'm there to experience.

Only eating lettuce in Paris would be a cultural crime almost as bad as only eating McDonald's in Paris.

So we go, we experience, we enjoy. And we know that we can enjoy trying something in a few bites. We can enjoy a trip without eating to the point of discomfort. We can enjoy the trip even more when we don't regret our choices when we get home.

I have a client who says guilt has calories, and while it's not literally true, I think it can hit your body that way. Guilt raises your cortisol (stress hormone). Cortisol blocks weight loss and increases belly fat. So we set an intention to eat healthy, and when we make an exception by choice or by accident, we don't add guilt to it. If there's learning, get the lesson, and then move on.

If this is the sort of support you think would help you improve your relationship with food while losing weight and improving your health, let's work together.  The first step is a free initial consultation to make sure you are a fit for my program and to get your questions answered.  More information and my scheduling calendar is available at https://lisaduke.net/schedule