So if we aren’t going to be eating as a way to deal with feelings like restlessness, boredom, or stress, what do we do with those feelings?

Well, we feel them.  But don’t worry – it’s not as bad as what you are probably imagining.

I teach my clients a technique I learned from Krista St. Germain through The Life Coach School called the “NOW” technique.

NOW is an acronym that stands for Name, Open, and Watch.

So when you are feeling a feeling, the first thing to do is to name it.  What feeling is it?

Then open up to that feeling.  Instead of trying to get rid of it or change it or solve it like a problem, really allow it to be there.  Where is it in your body?  Imagine and visualize where it is, what it’s doing, and what it looks like.

Then, watch the feeling.  Just be with it.  Try to stay in your body with the physical experience instead of getting back into your head and overthinking the whole situation.

Often when we just the Name, Open, Watch technique with the physical experience of an emotion, we realize it’s really not that bad.

Most of my career has been in information technology.  And while there are perks (we figured out we could work remotely AGES ago), there are some challenges as well that I believe make it hard to lose weight.

1.  We are sedentary.

While this is not a challenge exclusive to IT workers, IT folks do a lot of sitting.  Whether you are writing code, trying to troubleshoot something as an admin, or logging hours on Zoom and in conference rooms as a manager, the fact of the matter is most of your day will be spent sitting.  It's a really unhealthy way to spend the day.

 2.  We are global.

Whether you come in early to support clients in Europe or wake up in the middle of the night for calls with your team in China, IT were the first to truly become global.  And while that creates all sorts of opportunities and efficiencies, it also means your sleep may be disrupted.  And when your sleep is disrupted, your hormones get messed up in ways that make it much harder to lose weight.

 3. It's a guy's world.

While there was a time when IT jobs were considered secretarial work (check out the movie Hidden Figures if you aren't familiar) once IT jobs started to become high paying it magically became dudeworld.  And while most of the guys I've worked with in IT were good humans, let's face it, some dudes are creepers.  And in that environment, having a womanly body is at best a distraction and at worst can feel unsafe.  You may be unconsciously hanging on to weight as a way to be perceived as a human with a brain instead of as a woman with boobs.

 4.  Stress.

While this again isn't exclusive to IT, let's face it, there are some stresses that go with working in IT.  Many teams have members who (to put it nicely) are on them despite their people skills, not because of their people skills.  I once worked with a guy who we were told should never be put on a call with a client because he'd made a client cry.  Great we are protecting the clients, but what about us?

On top of human challenges, often projects seem set up to fail.  Instead of asking project managers how many people they need and how long the project will take, management often hands over the team and the deadline without much thought as to whether or not the result is humanly possible.  Like construction projects, the only thing we know at the start of the IT project is that it will not finish on time, yet, as with construction, we seem never to figure that out and account for it.  So opportunities for drama abound.

Stress, as I've mentioned elsewhere on the blog and my YouTube channel, leads to an increase in cortisol, which leads to your body depositing fat around your belly, which is the least cute place to store fat.

 So in the face of all these challenges, is weight loss possible?  I believe so.  But you'll need to put on your engineer hat (even if you didn't train as one) and see where you can optimize.  Hiring a coach would be a great place to start.

When was the last time you invested in yourself?

 In your happiness?

 In your health?

 In your personal development?

 Without question we as women invest in our kids.  We understand their education and extracurricular activities put them on a path to get into a good college, get a good job, marry the right person, and be successful.

 And we invest in our husbands.  We take care of things around the house so they don't have to worry about it.  We go to their work functions and smile and nod and act as much like Snow White as we can so everyone knows what a lovely wife he has and feel safe promoting him.

But what about you?

There are some great fathers out there, but that thing they say on the planes about putting your own oxygen mask on?  We know that's not for them, right?  That's for us.

And it's backwards.  We think by putting ourselves last we are making sure there's enough for everyone else.  But living on scraps doesn't work the way you think it does.  It just reinforces the idea of scarcity and leads to everyone rolling their eyes at what a martyr you are.  They don't really appreciate it anyway.

The truth of it is, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  And they know you are not happy.

So it's time, it's time to invest in yourself.  There have been new things that have been invented and discovered since college, and you didn't get to take all the classes anyway.

 There's more to learn and more to discover and it's ok to invest the time, money, and effort in improving yourself. 

 And secretly it all comes back to them anyway.  Your husband has a wife who likes the way she looks and isn't constantly trying to get in the back of all the group photos.  Your kids see you eating healthier, and at some point down the road they will remember that and have that to fall back on when they are overweight.

So do it, momma.  Invest in yourself.  You are worth it.