It's about progress, not perfection.
For years I had a surefire budgeting system that was guaranteed to produce nothing but self-hatred. Step 1 – make budget. Step 2 – break budget. Step 3 – decide I'm bad at money and give up on the whole budgeting thing.
Recently I got a deck of Money Habitudes cards. My top value when it comes to money? Planning. Not surprising giving my affection for “playing money”, the fact that my parents were natural savers and planners, and the fact that we've been working with a financial planner for years. Here's the twist. My second highest value? Spontaneity. “Oh,” my husband said, “so that's why you always make budgets but never stick with them.” Ouch.
It's true, though. I don't think you'll get much of anywhere without a plan, but I also believing in stopping and smelling the roses. On a hike my husband is all about heart rate and steps, whereas I want to check out a cool flower or an interesting bug. Yes, the plan is great, but within the plan there should be a bit of wiggle room. Life happens in the wiggle room.
In addition to realizing I liked both planning and spontaneity, another factor contributing to my conquering the budget thing (at long last) is the realization that the goal of the budget is not perfection. Big bill you forgot to plan for? Swear, beat yourself up, then divide the amount by 12 and build it in going forward. Now you are ahead for next time. Boom.
Things are going to happen. Mistakes will be made, Build in a bit of cushion so when a friend calls and says, “I'm flying out tomorrow, but I'm staying near the Atlanta airport tonight. Don't you live near the airport?” you can say, “Heck yeah, what's the address,” and go have a burger with them, because friends are important and let's be honest you didn't really want to cook tonight anyway, did you?
So, as the team at You Need A Budget says, roll with the punches. When you forgot something or you messed something up it doesn't mean you are bad a money. It means you need to tweak your plan and move on.
If you were driving from Atlanta to Orlando and planned to stop in Macon, but really had to pee in Stockbridge, would you give up on the whole planning your travel thing and declare yourself bad at navigation? Would you go back to just aimlessly turning left or right as the most struck you? Or would you say, “surprise!”, roll with it, and get back on track? Of course you'd think nothing of it, because the great American road trip isn't as tense and fraught with emotion as money is.
Let's model the great American spending plan on the great American road trip. Yes, you want to get from Point A to Point B, but leave a little wiggle room in there in case you want to explore or miss an exit or just have to pee in Stockbridge. In the grand scheme of things, you'll still get closer to your destination if you know what it is than if you don't have a plan at all.
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