Lack of visibility and negative emotions are in your way.
Imagine trying to catch a catfish that's swimming in your bathtub with your bare hands. Your shirt's wet, the floor's wet, you have half a dozen half soaked towels scattered around the room. Feels a bit like when you pay bills, right? Well, maybe not for you, but let me explain.
As you are imagining this scene, keep in mind catfish don't live in rocky bottomed, spring-fed streams. Catfish are bottom feeders that live deep in waters like the mighty Mississippi, in water so murky brown you can't see your hand when it's just a few inches in. How are you going to catch this fish with your bare hands when you can't even see what's going on? And isn't there more fear, more anxiety, when you can't see what's lurking in the sinister, dark waters?
Now, imagine what would happen if, instead of trying to catch that fish (the fish is your money in this metaphor. You got that, right?) in a dark world of fear and secrecy and shadow – imagine that instead you just pull the plug at the bottom of the plug.
Suddenly you'd have visibility into what you are doing. And letting some of the fear and anxiety drain away make the job less fraught. You aren't bad at catching fish, you were just so freaked out that you couldn't focus on what the task at hand really was.
People make it Mean Something About Who They Are As A Person when they are having trouble with money. Please. If you'd never had a lacrosse lesson and then went out there to try to figure it out, you'd probably suck at lacrosse, right? Now, how many of you had a money class in high school? In college? Did your parents' advice on handling your money extend beyond balancing a checkbook? Did you even get THAT lesson?
Here's what I'd recommend to help you get a handle on your money:
1) You probably need a bit of financial education. Take a course, read a book, ask a friend. Learning more always helps to illuminate a situation and reduce fear.
2) Drain the bathtub of negative emotions about money. Meditate to get in a calm space before you pay bills or update your net worth statement. Work with a coach to uncover your limiting beliefs. Build an abundance shrine in your walk-in closet (you realize a walk-in closet already is a temple of abundance, right?). Take a deep breath. Release the guilt and shame you've piled on yourself. Now that you know better, you can start to do better.
3) Track your expenses. I'm a huge fan of You Need A Budget, an app which easily allows you to track and categorize your spending. It also allows you to set up “sinking funds” so you can break large expenses into a monthly amount to be prepared for large bills.
More knowledge, more peace, more visibility. You can do this. Catfish for dinner tonight.
P.S. Anyone else wondering how the catfish got into the bathtub? Metaphors are weird.
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